Giving the nod to hairdo: "appropriate, but not feminine" (10)
I believe the answer is:
permitting
'giving the nod' is the definition.
The definition and answer can be both to do with social activities as well as being present participle verbs.
Perhaps you can see an association between them that I don't see?
'hairdo appropriate but not feminine' is the wordplay.
'hairdo' becomes 'perm' (perm is a kind of hairdo).
'appropriate' becomes 'fitting' (I've seen this before).
'but not' suggests deleting specific letters.
'feminine' becomes 'f' (abbreviation listed in Chambers).
'fitting' with 'f' removed is 'itting'.
'perm'+'itting'='PERMITTING'
'to' acts as a link.
Can you help me to learn more?
(Another definition for permitting that I've seen is " "God willing, weather ______ "".)