Deigning to be gracious (13)
I believe the answer is:
condescending
'deigning' is the definition.
('condescend' can be a synonym of 'deign')
'be gracious' is the wordplay.
I cannot quite understand how this works, but
'be' could be 'end' (ending is a kind of being) and 'end' is found within the answer.
This may be the basis of clue (or it may be nonsense).
'to' acts as a link.
Can you help me to learn more?
(Other definitions for condescending that I've seen before include "Supercilious" , "Toffee-nosed" , "Snooty" , "Showing (to others) that one feels superior" , "Disdainful" .)