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Military figure, computer expert, embracing married bloke (9)

Ross

I believe the answer is:

commander

I'm a little stuck... Click here to teach me more about this clue!

'military figure' is the definition.
The answer and definition can be both people as well as being singular nouns.
Maybe there's an association between them I don't understand?

'computer expert embracing married bloke' is the wordplay.
'computer expert' becomes 'coder' (I've seen this before).
'embracing' indicates putting letters inside.
'married' becomes 'm' (abbreviation, e.g. in genealogy).
'bloke' becomes 'man' (informal term for a man).
'm'+'man'='mman'
'coder' placed around 'mman' is 'COMMANDER'.

Can you help me to learn more?

(Other definitions for commander that I've seen before include "boss" , "The one who gives the orders" , "leader" , "who's already giving the orders?" , "Chief" .)

I've seen this clue in The Times.
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