Not military, but well-mannered (5)
I believe the answer is:
civil
'well-mannered' is the definition.
(I've seen this in another clue)
I don't understand the rest of the clue.
Can you help me to learn more?
(Other definitions for civil that I've seen before include "Mannerly" , "Not rude" , "Nonviolent refusal to obey laws" , "(Of law) non-criminal" , "Courteously polite" .)