Ruler is a bit more gentle (6)
I believe the answer is:
regent
'ruler' is the definition.
(a queen might rule as a regent)
'a bit more gentle' is the wordplay.
'a bit' indicates a hidden word (I've seen 'bit of' mean this).
'REGENT' is hidden within 'more gentle'.
'is' is the link.
(Other definitions for regent that I've seen before include "Ruler standing in for monarch" , "Person appointed to rule because monarch is too young" , "Acting ruler" , "One acting on behalf of an incapacitated monarch" , "Ruler during monarch's minority" .)