Understand good parent avoids force (6)
I believe the answer is:
gather
'understand' is the definition.
(synonyms)
I don't understand the remainder of the clue.
(Other definitions for gather that I've seen before include "Collect; understand" , "Assemble; understand" , "Accumulate, garner" , "Bring or assemble together" , "Assemble - conclude - contract" .)