Calming first, for example, at parting (9)
I believe the answer is:
placating
'calming' is the definition.
(placating is a kind of calming)
'for example at parting' is the wordplay.
'for example' becomes 'placing' (I can't explain this - if you can you should give a lot more credence to this answer).
'parting' is an insertion indicator (one word creates a gap in ie parts another word).
'placing' placed around 'at' is 'PLACATING'.
'first' acts as a link.
Can you help me to learn more?
(Another definition for placating that I've seen is " Calming".)