Couple having sex with the people I was talking about informally (4)
I believe the answer is:
item
'couple' is the definition.
(a romantic couple are 'an item')
'sex with the people i was talking about informally' is the wordplay.
I cannot really understand how this works, but
'sex' could be 'it' (common euphemism) and 'it' is found in the answer.
The remaining letters 'em' is a valid word which might be clued in a way I don't see.
This may be the basis of the clue (or it may be nonsense).
'having' acts as a link.
Can you help me to learn more?
(Other definitions for item that I've seen before include "Also no more" , "Individual article or unit" , "Two lovers as one" , "Entry (in an account)" , "'One thing, poor mite (4)'" .)